Answers

Well, it's been crazy! I've worked my new job for about a week then I went on vacation. In that time I had a presentation and a paper due for my summer class. I was given a case load of about 8 clients and work due as early as the week I came back from vacation. So I was a little stressed. Didn't get much of a workout done, but thanks to my running partner, she remembered that I wasn't supposed to do anything until my doctor gave me the okay. Thank God! I left my sneakers at home because I had every intention to go running by Michigan Lake. Oh well, God is good.

So, I've been sticking to my diet as much as I could with vacation. I'm trying the "5 C's" diet. I can't have any 1) cookies, 2) cakes, 3) candy, 4) coke, 5) ... oh shoot! I always forget one. But I also added no potatoes, oh yeah! 5) chips. So I took potatoes completely out of my diet, because that's a weakness of mine and I try to keep pasta, bread, rice, cheese, corn, etc. to a small portion. Basically everything but fruits and veggies. Despite my best efforts, I don't know how much weight I've lost, every scale says something different on any given day! But this morning, the digital scale said...oh, yeah right, like I'm going to tell you that! It's all perspective, remember that. I need to lose 20 lbs, you might only want to lose 10 lbs, others may need to lose more than they can bare to think of right now... that's why I'm reaching for the first 5 lbs, then the next, and so on. But I think I might be holding water, which should be over soon... My clothes fit a little better, that's what's important.

I went to the doctor today for my follow up and the problem with the miscarriage was genetic. Specifically Turners Syndrome, http://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/condition=turnersyndrome . I was glad to know it wasn't something I did and that it was nature taking over. As I had a feeling, it was a girl. We will try again in a couple of months as everything seems to be well with me.

When I came back from vacation, things seemed to ease up. My case dates were readjusted to deal with the problems associated with the families and the next case I reviewed was a complete opposite to the first. Just spoke with the family and they seem pleasant and cooperative too.

I think it's coming together, my weight loss, my job, having some money in my pocket and still enjoying my family, little boo. Life is good and getting better. We're off to New York for our 4th Anniversary! Ha! to those who didn't think it would last.

Jake is enjoying his grandmom. They are bonding very well and now when she comes over, he crawls up in her lap; they are very comfortable. He's got her wrapped around his finger! Well, he's got all of us.

Much love to all!

Yvonne

U-turn Here!

Wow! Okay another turn in this road. How come God doesn't give you a map? It's like those dag on GPS systems, you never know how you're going to get there, you just keep on following it's direction and hopefully you get to your destination. Well as most of you know by know, I have returned back from my side trip to finding myself again. Unfortunately we lost the baby after 8 weeks, of course, reasons unknown. we are all doing fine as expected. Very disappointed, but I guess because it was still so early and I didn't know I was almost 12 weeks along, instead of 7, I didn't get so attached to the idea. We will be trying again when the doctor gives the clear, but until then, I will be back on my original journey, so join me again. Whew!

My first week of work has been interesting and enjoyable. The biggest or strangest part about the job is working for a company that prays before each meeting. I mean I understood it was a Christian based organization, but I suppose with all my years of separation of church and state, it's just surreal. Everyone is really nice and professional. Education is high on their list and so is moving up in the system. They want you to start applying for school (which they pay for) and other positions, as soon as you're able. Now, the dress code is a little starch... no capris. Well at least you won't have that issue of seeing your co worker's thong. Unfortunately it also leads to that nasty habit of always being examined and maybe being told on. Terrible for office morale. Luckily my office is at home! Jake seems to be adjusting to my few days out of the home so far and I'm doing well also with it.

Since the miscarriage I have seen a significant change in my body again. I can't believe I didn't know I was pregnant sooner. Well I did, but I guess complications during the first month made it confusing. Well I appreciate your thoughts and prayers for our family and again, thank you for joining me in my journey.

A turn in the road

So, as some of you know by now, this stubborn weight gain that resorted to me putting on Jim's pants had something to do with what I was eating, but has more to do with the fact that we are pregnant! So this journey of weight loss and a return to all things Yvonne must take a detour back to prenatal vitamins, no alcohol, more walking than running and all the joys that go with growing a baby. We are excited and looking forward to a girl or a boy. I see the benefits of both and just hope for a healthy child. I guess this body is pretty spetacular since I'm nearing 40 and can still produce children spontanenously. So far, I have the sinking feeling this is a girl. I have had nausea that I never experienced with Jake and I've craved very early in the pregnancy. I remember one week I craved the yolk of eggs and had at least one egg a day for that week. I'm not as tired as I was with Jake, but I know, every time is different, but it's more than just the symptoms, I have a feeling... I think this journey is going to be bumpier than losing weight!

Is this the same body?

Yesterday Rhonda and I kept to our commitment to incorporate exercise back into our lives and went for a run in Battery Park, Old New Castle. The weather was great, the view was awesome. It was time spent on me! I hadn't been back that far into Battery Park since Jim and I went roller blading almost seven years ago. Afterwards I felt really good. I wasn't where I used to be, but I'm certainly not as bad as I thought I was. Running really allows you to let go mentally and enjoy the pavement under your feet, the sites or goals in front of your eyes. We saw a beautiful hare munching on the grass. I had to call it a hare, it's so close to Hare's corner! Then later that evening, I went to my favorite store, Marshall's to find a suit... in order not to deal with the frustration of squeezing into the size I hope I still am, I went for a size up. Wow! still struggling. Is this the same body that was running this morning? I look in the mirror and see excess I've never seen before. Yes, this is that same body. The same legs that carried me more than a mile one way. These are the same the abs that supported me as I turned and maneuvered through the path. This body may not look like it used to look, but it's still strong and supportive as ever! It doesn't look so bad under the suit either.

This was the turning point...

Today I wore my husband's shorts. I thought I'd never do this, but I couldn't find any shorts I could fit into from last year or years before, so I got so desperate that I pulled a small pair out of his draw and put them on. This is my turning point. That's all I could say as I put the first leg in, then the second. They were still tight, but not around my thighs or my butt. The beginning of my turning point was to share my story, my journey with my friends. Fellow women who have turned the point or are frustrated with their weight. I know with age, a little weight is expected. I also know with having kids, even more weight is expected. And those that have seen me might think I'm being ridiculous, but I tell you, I put on my husband's shorts! I'm not imagining it! I'm not exaggerating it!

I know it's all about perspective and most who have seem me lately might think, she was thin to begin with, it's just a little weight, she's not fat. But it's more than the weight. It's the lack of activity, other than chasing after Jake. It's the muscle that has turned to fat, the tone that has turned to mush, the mojo has disappeared. I need to get back to myself again. I need to enjoy a good sale item at Marshall's. I need to shop for myself! I need my friends to understand and help me in this journey, a return to myself again. So this is an invitation to come with me on my journey. This is an invitation to express yourself and frustrations too. To share ways you've overcome this day or this week, or even ways you've failed and need some support. Maybe with the help of friends, we can get back to our former selves. Maybe you can help me and I can help. I know saying it (writing) has helped already. Hopefully friend, you are listening.