My body today.

Some how I feel strong, purposeful, and determined. I met my first goal, getting out of the 160's and the reward, a new pair of casual, athletic like, slip ons! Oh, I've been needing a pair, but they were so expensive, I had trouble buying them. I was surprised to find them so easily at Marshal's, yes, for less! Next, my free undies to match one of the bras I bought online earlier this year. Maybe a treat for Jim too. Oh shoot! $10 off a new bra, why not. Panties, a matching bra and a little cute nightie with support. Support is going to cost you! but I'm worth it and since I'm a platinum Angel, I can pay it off over time. But when I tried the nightie on at home, uh-oh! This is my bra size, I've been watching what I eat, working out. Okay, it's just minutes before my period, but seriously? I feel like a bloated blow up doll. Alright, putting the teddy away until after my period. Sorry Jim, you get sweats and pj's again. Still not giving up. Giving up for what? another 10 pounds on top of the 30? I've lost about 6, just four more to go before I reach my next goal, 10 pounds lost and get my next reward, a beautiful new purse, cost is not an issue! (but you know me, I'm not crazy!)

Three textures! Beautiful, yet difficult.

So I cut my hair again. I opted for a pixie cut since this is the last time I'm going to cut my hair this short. Really I didn't expect it until I heard the razor buzzing. Oh well, it's just hair, it'll grow back, eventually. So just feeling my hair, I have this ridge that goes from my temple, curves on the center of my head, like where babies get that balding thing and back to the other temple. It's crazy because it's so thick and tight and you can distinctly feel the change. Underneath, at the nape and around the edges near the ears is smooth, wavy, lies flat and at that crown, loose, wavy, would be curls if I didn't flat iron my hair so much from that last style that my ends that weren't cut, are straight, relaxer straight. Looking at it, it's all beautiful, curly, has a mind of it's own, even at an 1/8 of an inch long. How could I have ever thought that growing it out natural and "working" with it would change the texture clearly growing out of the roots? It helps me to appreciate it if I look, but it frustrates me, no matter the length, as I rub my hands through it.