Strangers

Jim and I have been working hard at treating each other better. Jim has been more positive and I have been more cooperative. But Wednesday came and I was at my intern site all day, two groups, paperwork, running around, preparing for class and then class. I was tired, starved, then stuffed, frustrated and by the end of the night, I crawled into the house, dropped my bags, shoulders sloped and sighed. The next day I went back to my intern site and started my day as any other, smiling at strangers, asking how people were doing, being polite, cherry, etc. Then it hit me...remember when Jim and I were strangers? When I used to smile at him whenever I greeted him for the first time that day. When I used to be polite and patient and friendly? I mean, I don't treat him badly, but I definitely show others a side of me that he only sees when I'm greeting friends or strangers. Well that doesn't make much sense? How can I expect him to be how he used to be, when I am not either. I thought about how I come home and we say "hey" and go about our routine. I thought about how I don't do that with Jake. That I smile when I see him, that I hug and kiss him and ask him how his day was. Why? Because I'm so happy to see him and he's so happy to see me and he makes me feel loved. I love my husband and I know he loves me, I can't expect him to treat me one way and it not be reciprocated. So I decided that when Jim came home last night that I would greet him like I would a stranger or a friend. I was changing my clothes when he walked into the room. I turned and with a huge and pleasant smile, I said, "Hello." The response was better than the I expected! He just stared at me for a minute and then cautiously asked "What?" It's going to take some time for us to get used to this, but I see it working. I'm coming back to this blog after a day and so far I've used it again when he came home from work and this morning I said, hung over but still very cherry, "Good morning!". I'm looking forward to seeing where this will go, for now, I get excited when I think about seeing Jake and I'll "fake it till I make it" with Jim.

I have to document this

So, 20 days after surgery, the pain under my arms are diminishing, but my left side has hard tissue near the incision line which makes the whole area very taunt and my full range of movement is restricted. On my right side, the hard tissue is there, but not to the extreme and my range of motion isn't diminished noticeably. The pain down my triceps is only on the left side now. I look forward to the day that the there will be no tightness or hard tissue. I also have numbness above the incision line on my right side.

On a different note, I checked the race results from the 5K and I came in 3rd in my age group (40-49) out of 9 and my time was 34:54; I was 75 overall.

finally some more pics after surgery and after the right side being drained of fluid.

17 days later...

Completed my first 5K!!!! Not too painful and I made it 3rd in my age group. I have no idea how many women were in my age group (40-49), but I'll check eventually. Checked out our condo in AC. It was actually a relaxing time because Russ, Jake and I hung out in the condo while Jim took his mom out to the casino. I went to bed early and even forgot until late Sunday night that I had run 3.2 miles when my thighs became a little sore and I crashed on the couch. Rachel and her cousin Lavonne dropped by to use the condo to change and hang out a little. I can't wait to let her use it when she wants to spend the whole weekend with friends. The condo was great, convenient, mostly clean and had an awesome view of the inlet, Harrah's and the Water Club. Rachel advised me to use ice to reduce the fluid, which is another way of saying swelling on my rt side. So I did and by the time I saw Dr. Saunders today, it had gone down by 40%, but he asked if I wanted him to drain it and so I did and now it's all gone! I'll have pics tomorrow of the rt side "after" after I shower. Here's some before and 17 days after surgery.